Friday, May 4, 2007

Best way to approach server at Restaurants: My Apologizes

43 comments:

Jana Bielfeldt said...

God bless those who repent and remorse... humble themselves before the Lord. Jesus requires us to forgive each other. We forgive you.

kira said...

of course, we love u! :)

JungleForest said...

Forgive you. :-) Love you, too.

DCABlogs said...

I didn't consider you use bad language in any intend to offend.. We need to remind ourself that two of our bad words has different means in our community those two bad words that start with S and other one with F... Yes are bad language bad words only if we use it in a situation. But in other situation it has other means...

DT said...

Wrong or not, you were very BIG to come forth and that's a rarity these days! Kudos to you, man!

Gary Brooks said...

Oh My!!! I am crying!!!! look like all of us hug each others! that's so wonderful!!!! I love David so much!!! he's big brother to me!! Thank God I worked with him at the play "The House of Blue Leaves" we had riot time!!! right David?

Gary ;)

Judge said...

I'm sorry? What did you say ?

I don't really see you saying any bad language or offensive ones.

However, we still love you regardless you are Redskin fan!

:)

Virginia L. Beach said...

I admire your willingness to come forward and admit that you might have made a mistake and offended some individuals, David - Kudos to you.

However, if you ask my personal opinion, I don't think you have anything to apologize for. I think this got blown out of proportion, personally.

Yes, you used the word "shit" in your first video, but it was not as if you were really trying to curse or insult anyone, but rather using it to demonstrate how people do think and feel...and the truth is that a lot of hearing people probably would be thinking "oh shit - what am I gonna do now?"

That's not being offensive, folks - that's being realistic. It's not necessarily offensive. If David had said "you're full of shit!" then I could see people being upset. But to simply use it as an expression of "ohhh shit, how am I going to communicate with this person cuz I don't know sign language?" is not offensive in my humble opinion. And truthfully, hearing people DO say this.

I've done presentations where I have used the phrase "damned if I do, damned if I don't." Does the audience get upset because I use the word damn? No, because they understand that I'm not trying to offend anyone, but simply using that term to explain my point.

Also, I feel we need to remember that Deaf people are a diverse group of people, and we have different ways of expressing ourselves. Some people might think that David's use of the word "shit" is wrong, others might think there is nothing wrong with it.

I think we need to learn to accept those differences and not be quick to judge other people simply because they express themselves differently than we do. We need to look at things from their perspective and also think to ourselves - "what was the true INTENT" here? Was it David's intent to really offend or upset or insult anyone? I don't think so.

I also would like to bring up another point. Suppose you are a Deaf person using an interpreter and you express yourself using words like "I'm really pissed off about this" or "This really makes me damn angry" or "Oh shit, I forgot all about that meeting!"

Then the interpreter says to you "I'm sorry, I refuse to voice those words because that bad language and I won't use bad language! Shame on you!" How would you feel? Would you want an interpreter judging your language? Would you be upset with that interpreter for refusing to voice your words, even if you say "bad language" like "shit" or "damn"?

My point is that we all criticize interpreters because they refuse to voice our words, including our bad language, and then judge us for using such language.

BUT WE DO IT TO EACH OTHER.

Is that right?

Sorry, I don't think so!

I'm sorry, David... I don't mean to ramble here. But I really feel this got carried too far.

But in any case, allow me to commend you for your willingness to admit that you might have made a mistake and for recognizing that some people were offended by your language. I don't necessarily agree , but I think it's good of you to show respect and consideration for their feelings.

deafk said...

aw, david...

We all learn every day, smile. alright...you were brave to confront your audience. That is good! Take care..

deafk

Oscar the Observer said...

Kudos to Virginia L. Beach. She speaks my thoughts exactly. I am not a Christian but used to a preacher trainee so I got the reasons why your students felt offended but since I am no longer a Christian, I agree with with Virginia that if your used cusswords as a part of expressing, then it is okay. Be strong, my man! You did inspire me there last post!

Toby Welch said...

My dear brother! I forgive you. Yeah, you speak of love the Lord and our neighbor. That is what God commands us to do. Praise the Lord!

Anonymous said...

you are forgiven and keep up with your vloggings. That is important for us to learn from u as you learn form us.

jrb

jwomick said...

oh hey NO WORRY i am open mind and get idea what u try tell that person reponse MIGHT BE TRUE?! but it's ok, NO ONE PERFECT anyway. of course we will always forgive NO MATTER WHAT. when u use that bad language or insult but it's not really bother me. reason CAN BE true if they reponse. honest one time i saw one girl said "OH F***" when i asked her get paper and pen when i get ready to order as last minute to stop get something eat. i just keep say nothing and wait on her. to get paper and pen ready. i just get usually with it.

Joshua "Vampbat" Womick

Lisa C. said...

Yes, of course I forgive you. I know you didn't mean that and were saying what the clerk would say.

Virginia,
Most interpreters are required to translate everything what the Deaf persons were saying. One of my friends, the former Assembly of God pastor and free lance interpreter, said that he had to say some profane words the deaf people had said in ASL when he was interpreting for them. He had no choice. He was a very good interpreter.

Anonymous said...

yawning...let's talk about steve kittell. More interesting topic.

Kathy Hughes said...

hi David, bless your heart for being a humble. really no plms... we do forgive you :) the verse saying you love yourself as you love others.. we try our best to love ourself as we love others.. but interesting that a guy shared with me the thought about .. love your enemy--- the most ignored verse in the entire bible. It is much harder to practice on how to love our enemy but with the Lord's help and wisdom guidance will take care of us indivdiually. WE love u :) KH

- Ron - said...

I don't believe that you used that signed word as an inappropriate word because your signed word is more like "oh darn" and that signed word may different meanings. However, I could see that you mouthed "sh*t" and I still believe you don't intend to use it as the profane word.
I suspected that people who criticized you didn't take any ASL classes and it is common that cultural words lead some people to misinterpret and misunderstand those words. That is why I strongly encourage people to avoid signing and mouthing any words simultaneously. - Ron -

Anonymous said...

I Love You! Can I kiss you? LOL
many hugs

Anonymous said...

you are a gentleman..we know that
you are a professional
also human
dont worry about it...

if it was me, and the cashier looks at me funny, i give the fuckin bird!
but thats me

you take care

Anonymous said...

Oh boy ! someone make it a big deal about Oh Shit !!! U didnt said oh shit directly to the audiences. It is about the example what the cashier reacts to u .... People needed to be open minded about it ..

cheree Mull

Shel said...

David, I just saw both this vlog and your previous vlog. You have nothing to apologize for. Like you said, the sign could mean shucks, shoot... etc. Those who raised a ruckus about your s... sign clearly missed your point and chose to focus on that one thing. That says a lot about the priorities these people set... the message as a whole, or one tiny part that may or may not be a swear word.
That said, your point was an excellent one. I will try that approach to see if it produces different results.

I usually use my blackberry to order when I walk into a fast food place, but use a paper and pen when I use a drive-through with two or more of my kids. Usually, that is not a problem, except for that one time at Tim Horton's.

Shelley

mishkazena said...

David, you were very generous to apologize.

In all honesty, I feel you weren't being offensive on purpose. You were portraying how hearing people thought or said when they are confronted with an unfamiliar and uncomfortable situation. That is the reality we deal on a daily basis

Anonymous said...

Your apology really make me appreciate your humbleness. You show that no Christian can be a perfect Christian. All Christians make mistakes just like everyone else since they are all human beings! Too many people would have unrealistic expections about Christians being perfect! Once you apologized, the slate can be erased & pushed into the past so everyone can go ahead with the future w/ no hard feelings!

Since Jesus Christ is our Savior, we should boast about him at every given opportunity to glorify him! God is so good because He allows our sins to be forgiven when we accept Him in our hearts! AMEN!

A deaf imperfect Christian

Squ65 said...

Oops ... Sh*t happens. lol Many Deaf and hearing kids hear the inappropriate languages these day. Nothing we can do .. but have to be careful of what we have to say here. lol

Jean Boutcher said...

David,

No damage done. I still love you. because your consistent humbleness and kindness as demonstrated in
your vlogs weight much more than one word which all of us make out of frustration. We still love you:)

Smile.

Jac said...

Do not worry about that, I did not notice that part of your dirty language, I did not consider this.
I can understnad what you say to approach server in a proper way to try using ASL. Anyway.. Nobody's Perfect.

God bless you!
\lm/

FlaKyboy said...

Hey DM,
Click me now!
Smile...
Billy

mochame said...

Nobody's perfect, No worries!

Me =) said...

Just now caught up with your blogs and Gosh....people tend to make a mountain out of a molehill....I did not view your shit sign as oh bad bad....it is how we express ourselves. Please feel free to express yourself the way you want to. Don't feel censored in order to please others. Your vlog is yours to create and for us to view. Don't change! I know your whole beloved family! Hugs!

John Lestina --- said...

Response to David M: CLICK HERE

Johanna said...

David, Yes, of course I forgive you. Of course I love you too. Smile.
God Bless with you and your family.

David said...

Hi David

HEre is my response below

CLICK ME

Deafchip

Domvera said...

Hi David,

Hey! You're good man ever I met you at Maryland Extravanga II collaborating with ODHH. I saw your previous video and found nothing wrong. It's your impulsive to mention. It's sort of similiar in expressional language.
I don't think your offensive at all. Unless if you have intention to express in anger to use profanity, it could be violated.

Why don't you rate yourself before air on deafread.com? Like PG-13 or R or something with warning to the audience.

I admired your courage to give your apology to our audience. We are brothers and sisters across the world through blog/vlog. Cheers! ILY!

Nick Vera

Deaf258 said...

I think it's okay to say what you did in the first vlog about ordering at a restaurant. It's role playing and you described it well in ASL what hearing people might have thought how to deal with Deaf customers.

It's all good! No need to forgive!

Dianrez said...

Aw come on; mild cusswords are common in the Hearing community and most of the time are just expressions of feelings, not directed against anyone.

It is fine to use Christian principles and cite rules from the Bible, but we must not forget the real basis of Christianity: being good to one another, charitable, kind and understanding. Most other religions have this, too.

If understanding is promoted by sharing a feeling, the cussword is not going to be a bad thing. Stop apologizing; we all love you.

tim said...

David-
Thank you for being courage!
I showed to my kids and they are so impressed and want to forgave you too smile.

It is a humble feeling! I forgave you as Jesus do.

Please pray to see the willingness in God for me to start a VLOG/BLOG.

Up to all of you- Key verses to look at:
II Timothy 3:16
John 3:30
Hebrews 13:5-7
Joshua 1:6-9
Proverbs 17:17

May the Lord Jesus Christ be with all of you.

Susan said...

love ya too...

nothing to apologise, really, but nice of you to think of others. Liked your white truce flag at the start :)

FRED said...

Hey David,
Your apology, accepted and forgiven as Christ has, and still does when we ask of Him. Isn't this wonderful?

You did what the spirit of God has shown you to do, my commendments to you! That's intigerity!

May you be strengthened throughout this incident.

Blessings to you, my man!

Jean Boutcher said...

John Lestina is absolutely right!
The sign you used was for "Darn it!" Do not let those people with
an "I am holier than thou art"
attitude" make you feel falsely guilty. Cheer up, David!

RLM said...

David Martin is really a cool guy himself. He is very nice guy!

I somewhat am bothered about the "political correctness" mentality in the world of Deafread.com where the majority of people will follow the wind. How sad!

I miss the 60s and 70s decades where people express themselves freely without any social constraints or conformity.

Christians surely offend me almost daily with their ignorance and self-righteous attitudes. I ever put up with their piety on me for being Deaf.

I do not hate Christians or annoy with them. I just have to pinpoint the Christians' hyprocrisy in many ways.

I never had any problems with the McDonald cashiers unless I dealt with foreign-born Latinos or Muslims. Those people could not able to read what I wrote on the note for an order. They had to get the manager. Good riddance!

Why America have to hire someone, who is not really fluent in the dominant language of our society - the English language. Our country keep undermining deaf Americans' citizenry as a second-class status like not hiring the low-functioned deaf Americans.

I usually go to the African American or Causcian McDonald employee whenever I have a chance to order at the McDonald for breakfast stuff from time to time.

Ever the Latino McDonald employees do not have any common sense for not mopping the floor while customers still eat at their table. I had to object to the employee to halt the mopping of floor until people are not around.

Latino employees ever do not give any damn about us, Americans. i have same problems with the Latino apartment management for ignoring the ADA laws, etc. The Latino apartment management tried to undermine my legal rights. I had to get the lawyer to deal with the ongoing situation. They finally had to comply with the ADA law or face the monterary fine. The Latino apartment management surely had no respect for the civil laws or tenants' concerns. They insisted that I had to sign the annual apartment lease. I requested for the month to month lease via email message. I always treated the Latino apartment management with respect. They didn't.

McDonald's restuarants should comply with the ADA law like providing the menus with pics or various language. That will lessen the communication misunderstanding between the McDonald cashier and deaf customer.

I am not trying to make an unfair generalization of Latino people in the United States. I just point out my daily frustration with Latinos whenever I go.

The Latino employees at the Pentagon City Mall ever use the air blowers to clean up the floor while people still consume their foods. Unbelievable!

Of course, I see the pretty case of cronyism and favorism among Latino people like my apartment management - all Latinos. No racial diversity within the apartment management. I witness the Latino apartment management fawn preferences with the Latino tenants over me and few Causcasians and African Americans.

Many Northwest DC residents know the usual Latino way of peeing on the street when they get drunk. I always seen them on almost daily for peeing on the open street. Ever they fall down on the street unconsciously as some African Americans go to those people and cleaned up their pockets. Where was the respect for Latino people by African Americans?

Latinos are also human beings like all of us. They really have to embrace our American society from norms to social ettiquettes.

I do respect people who treat me with such respects or common courtesy or I will not return them my usual respect.

I really do not care if people seen me as a racist which I am not! Or I have prejudices toward Christians. I have nothing against Christians unless they undermine my societial right as a deaf and gay person.

I still do not understand why the Christians and other religious denominations make big deals out of gay marriage. They should embrace the concept of monogomous relationship among human beings whose endure love and affection than letting people run around with different sexual partners. Where is the common sense among the majority of Christians?

Christians have been mistaken about many things in the past like misassuming the Earth to be the flat surface, not the round shape and attacked science (ex. Galieo) and slapped scientists with hereasy charges, etc.

Christians slowly embrace the serious issue of global warming that is really likely to affect the whole humanity than demonizing gay marriage issue or liberal policies.

Robert L. Mason (RLM)

RLM said...

Hi there,

I meant that the majority of American corporations and employers did not hire low-functioned deaf individuals with satisfied English writing and reading skills. That's what I am trying to say.

I have to get my personal feelings about handful of Latinos and Christians out of my system. I know that I am not supposed to generalize Christians and Latinos in any way.

I rather be around people, who could express themselves in true ways than pretenders or social conformists who are too careful to say like Hillary Clinton.

I have nothing against female politicans at all. I admire many of them, but not an opporuntist like Hillary Clinton ride out on Bill Clinton for years. Why can't she run during her early years?

RLM

Anonymous said...

Hey there David,

I agree with Jean Boutcher's statement, Do not let those people with an "I am holier than thou art" I can't stand those kind of people. They need to shush up.

Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

I have not seen your previous vblog about McDonalds but I will look at it. Anyway I totally agreed with John Lestina.